we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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