Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
