so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
