As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need to calm my uterus...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
