You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
