so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
