The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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