It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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