we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize