im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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