just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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