Need sex. Gaining weight.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
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as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
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I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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