weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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