I'm sorry my penis didn't work
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
