I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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