I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
