u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
