What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
