I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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