i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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