I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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