Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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