I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
