I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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