Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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