U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
