Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
