the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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