5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
