I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
