please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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