yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
