you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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