Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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