SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize