you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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