if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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