You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
