If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
