FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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