I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
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I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
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But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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