I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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