Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
