If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
smell my finger.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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