Soap is not a condiment
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
