Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
