he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
