Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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