Are we in a gay sports bar?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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