new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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