Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
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Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
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I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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