There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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