Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
