Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
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I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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