sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think i got beer on your cat.
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