If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
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I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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