we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
